Monday, January 23, 2006

Kobe's 81

If you haven't heard, or don't care, Kobe Bryant dropped 81 points on the Toronto Raptors last night. That's the most points since Wilt Chamberlin dropped 100 back in the day. Putting 81 on any team is an awesome feat. Neither I nor about 99% of the league could do that. That's a rediculously sick accomplishment. However, in the greater scheme of things, it's a wasted feat. I'll tell you why:

1. Kobe dropped 81 on the Raptors. I think the Raptors are one of the worst teams in the NBA and will definitely be battling for a lottery pic come draft time. Since it seems that Kobe is trying to become the Jordan of our era, let me see you consistently rip up the good teams. Drop 70 on a Boston team with Hall of Famers like Larry Bird, Kevin McKale, the Chief Robert Parish. Continuously rip out the hearts of Knick fans by throwing double nickels on Patrick Ewing, Greg Anthony and John Starks. 81 is awesome, but the Raptors are a punk team.

2. Of course Kobe had to mention some injury he had. This time it was a sore ankle. That's great that you did it with a sore ankle, but no one has to know about that. Let a trainer or someone leak that info to the media. You don't have to say I had a great game with a sore ankle. Did Jordan let folks know he had the flu when he dropped 40+ on Utah in the Finals. Nope. The media found out, but he didn't have to say anything. The great ones never have to say their hurt. They just play like they're never hurt. Isiah Thomas had abroken leg when he was hobbling down the court in a playoff game killing folks. I don't think in the post game interviews he touted having a great game with a broken leg. It's nothing to the great ones.

3. Kobe took 46 shots. 46 shots! Wow! Talk about a ball hog. I know shot better than 50% from the field but man 46. That's rediculous. You should be dropping 70-80 a night with 46 shots. With that he shot 20+ free throws. So that's 60 plus shots you took. 60+. Come on man. I know you're the truth, a killer on the court. Totally sick, but 60+ shot attempts. What about your teammates?

4. And speaking of teammates, where were they? I think they had about 30-40 points total. The one thing I hate most about Kobe is he doesn't make his teammates better. Lamar Odom is a pretty good forward and should be a Scottie Pippen type player...if he saw the ball. How can guys ever get into the flow of a game with one person shooting the rock 60+ times. What happens when Kobe's having a bad night or injured? How can the other players get his back if they don't have any real experience other than watching Kobe shoot. Great players pass the ball. Jordan passed, Magic passed, Isiah passed, Bird passed. Having strong teammates around you gets you to the ultimate goal, an NBA Championship. Not trying to outscore the other team yourself.

5. The Lakers are still 7th in the West. 7th and probably not going to get past 5th in the West. They are destined to be elimated at best in the 2nd round of the playoffs. I real MVP like Steve Nash has his entire team playing at a good clip, even without Stoudemire. It's about teamwork.

6. There was a mch better game played last night between Phoenix and Seattle. The highest scoring game in a long time. Ray Allen is a menace. Score was like 150-153 or something like that. The TEAMS played a great game, albeit no defense, but a great game nonetheless.

So I don't want to discount Kobe's feat. It was an awesome accomplishment. I would think more of it if it were against a better opponent or if the Lakers were playing better. If the Zen Master wants another ring, he may need to calm his best player down. Worked for Jordan.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Chocolate City

"It's time for us to rebuild a New Orleans, the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans," he said. "And I don't care what people are saying in Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day." --New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin

Ok, Time to get back to the blog's namesake, Political Karma.

Pretty much since I left Louisiana for Missouri I have lost track of New Orleans news. Sure I hear about the big stuff like corruption, crime and hurricanes because that stuff makes national news. But nothing about the everyday activities of the city. Well, this is one of those national things that is on all tv's.

So I'm getting ready for work Wednesday morning (I think Wed morn) and I turn on the recording of the previous night's The Daily Show with John Stewart. As a sidenote, it's unfortunate that I trust shows like the Daily Show and Colbert Report for my news rather than more mainstream media like the local news, CNN and Fox [yeah, like I can stand Fox News for more than 3 minutes]). So I'm watching The Daily Show and they show a clip of New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin. I'm thinking, "What now?" Then I here him talk about rebuilding New Orleans and keeping it a "Chocolate City." I immediately pause the show and call my mom. It's always something making New Orleans look bad.

Or is it?

So let's address this concept of "Chocolate City." Is that something a mayor should say? Probably not. While it may be true and may be a goal, unfortunately you just can't say things like that, especially to the media. You can say something like that, but it has to be a little bit more polished than that. Something to the effect that, "we will rebuild New Orleans and make sure the people indigenous to the city, its citizens get the first opportunity be the decision makers, the leaders, the shapers of this city's future." That would have worked a little better than Chocolate City.

I don't have a problem with new orleans being rebuilt as a chocolate city. This is a great opportunity for new orleans to reshape itself and its people. Unfortuantely it is also an opportunity for unscrupilous folks of any race, but probably the typical wealthy white businessman or political figure wanting to make money, to make decisions forcing those that lost their homes to never return. I've heard all kinds of things going on down there (second hand of course). Some of the more affluent condo owners worked to stop the government from placing trailors for those without homes in their neighborhood. In this time of need, all some folks can still think about is their property. I've also heard plans to totally level the 9th Ward, the place hit the worst by the levie break and where many poor familes, mostly black but others as well, and not rebuild it. It is probably these types of events or feelings that led Nagin to say what he said. Being the conspiracy theorist that I am, here's what I think will happen:

They'll tear down the parts that need to be torn down. Either someone will come along and offer an extremely lowball price for property, buy it all up and build expensive, exclusionarily (is that even a word?) priced houses/condos totally changing the make-up of the area forcing poor folks out of their home. Or the government will declare some kind of eminent domain and allow this to happen. It 's already happen near the St. Thomas projects. Structures used to house poor families near the river were torn down making space for exclusionarily priced condos forcing the poor to relocate. Let me not forget the Walmart built either.

But that's just my thoughts.

Believe me when I say this: I am not condoning the presentation of the message, but I am condoning the message. When New Orleans recovers I'd like to see the culture come back. I'd like to see black folks get opportunities to be the decision makers. That is not to say I don't want any one else to have opportunities. Like Nagin said in a later clip, you make chocolate by taking dark chocolate and adding some white milk. I personally would like to add some chai, a little green tea, with a pinch of jalepeno mixed with curry. That's how I like my drink and my government. Something that represents the whole of what's actually out there. Giving all races some form of representation. So yeah, I'm all in favor of a "chocolate city."

One thing I think Nagin forgot while making his MLK speech was that he was black. a mayor and a black mayor at that. Nagin's got to realize that whatever he says will be blown out of proportion by the media. He said that God was mad at the US so he's sending hurricanes, etc. If you are a somewhat spritual person and have been to church at any point in time, you know that stories in the Bible talk about God's wrath. Let me think...he flooded the world (Noah), and destroyed an entire city (Gamorah). But that's if you believe that stuff. Pat Robert's came out and said Aerial Sharone's stroke was God's wrath for his dealings with the Middle East. The media picked up on that, but not like Nagin's comments. Nagin has to realize he needs to couch his statements like the other politicians. Having the same message, but having the media pick up on it differently. I remember watching clips of Sen. Stevens of Alaska throwing a temper tantrum at the thought of Congress taking some of his money for the bridge to nowhere and diverting it to New Orleans. Guess the media didn't think much of that. Nagin wanting a "chocolate city?" Now that's news. Gotta remember Mayor Nagin that if a person of color in America says anything close to outlandish, the media will take off with it portraying you like a baffoon. Just the way it works in the US.

Chocolate City. Gotta love it!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Quantum Leap

"Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and Vanished...He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home."

Now I'm not saying that I'm this time traveler lelaping around trying to make things right in the world. What I am saying is I do feel like I am put in places where for some reason or other I am needed until I'm not. Seems that in my life I've always been around when people needed me. I help them get through the tough time, learn some things and they go about their business. Unfortunately it always leaves me high and dry, but such is life I guess. So I keep on traveling, trying to make right what's wrong, hoping each time my next leap will be the leap home.

God I love that show.

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Tunnel with the Windows

There's this tunnel with the windows I sometimes find myself in.
The tunnel seems to go on for miles.
The tunnel's dark, but I can make out some giant picture windows on each side.
On the other side of the giant windows in the tunnel, I can see a room with the silhouettes of two people in most of them...a man and woman.
It's dark in the room.
It's dark in the tunnel.
The giant windows in the tunnel seem to go on for miles like the tunnel itself, most rooms having two people inside...a man and woman.
I look ahead, pearing into the darkness and see a tiny light ahead. I'm guessing that's the exit. I'm hoping the light at the end of the tunnel is my journey's end.
I start walking into the darkness.
As I past the first window a light turns on. I can see the man and woman.

The woman looks familiar. Isn't that the girl I had a crush on in high school? The man remains a silhouette. Some nameless faceless man.

What is this about?
I continue to walk down the dark tunnel.
Behind me a light turns off. In front another is illuminated.

Wow I remember her. Two years of my life wasted. This time the man is a white silhoutte. He has a name, and a face, but I have never personally seen it. My blood boils. I bang on the window. All that does is makes them make out even harder, giving me sinister looks, each finding it straight through to my defenseless heart. Starting to walk away I notice a television. Sound starts to fill the tunnel. I look around to see where it's coming from but it's too dark. I start to listen. It's that phone conversation when the bitch ripped my heart out. I see my reaction on the television and hear it in the tunnel. I remember that pain. I relive that pain. I walk away.

The sound fades, the light dims and another illuminated.
What now?

Another girl. Another man. I didn't even like you. We were just dating. I didn't like you? Did I? Sure I enjoyed your company, but I didn't think I'd like you. You were hell bent on finding a boyfriend. Now you have one and that just pisses me off. Maybe I did like you more than I thought I did. But that doesn't matter now. Wouldn't have worked anyway. That's what I 'm going to keep telling myself. I walk away.

I'm growing tired of this tunnel, yet I seem to always find myself in it.
The tunnel seems to go on for miles.
Rooms lighting and growing dark like the steps in Michael Jackson's Billie Jean video.
Each vision a woman from my past.
Each vision a reminder.
The tunnel doesn't seem to stop. It seems to be getting longer.

Wait a minute. You shouldn't be here. You're too new. I thought this was all about the past, not the present. My mind wanders. I spend a lot of time with her. She's my friend. Probably my best friend here. I'd do anything for her. Wait a minute...I just had these thoughts.

I back up but not too the middle of the lastest two windows. They both turn on.

She was my friend. Probably one of my best friends at my previous location. We helped each other through school.
She is my friend. Probably one of my best friends in my current location. We're helping each other through life.
Both lovely in their own distictly different way. Both very appealing. Both sources of the pain. Both the newest additions to the tunnel.
The ever growing tunnel.

I look at both of them. I slide to the light of the goes off.

I stand for a minute, gazing into the lit room, darkness surrounding me. I look at her, she looks at me. I place my hand on the glass, stretching my fingers out wide. She smiles at me, teeth sparkling, cheeks reddining. I ball my open hand into a fist, rare back getting ready give everything I can to break the glass. My arm shoots like a cannon, getting closer and closer to it's mark. And then I hard I almost pull my shoulder out. My eye caught a glance of something. Someone entering the room. I man. I know him, I've seen him, I've talked to him. Not again. Not again. He comes behind her and slowly kisses her on her neck. She looks at me, her gaze transformed from bright and beautiful to sinister. She enjoys the kisses, but enjoys my pain more. My heart sinks. I've been through this before. Running the race, slow and steady while someone comes along skating by. Classic example of the role player vs the superstar. And I'm not the superstar. While most of me wants to rare back and break the glass, I already know how that story would end. Secong verse same as the first. My heart sinks, my head falls to my chest. I was away. The light fades.

I continue my slow agonizing journey through the tunnel with the windows.
It's dark. It's lonely.
I pass by more windows, but they are empty. Waiting to be filled just as the ones I previously passed. So many I've passed, but not all did I mention. I start to run as fast as I can. Lights going on and off so quickly. I see the light getting closer and closer. I jump to it. White light all around me. Then it fades. When my eyes adjust all I see is darkness. I'm in a room...a tunnell. With windows. I see silhouettes.
The tunnel goes on for miles.
I'm in the tunnel with the windows again.
I wonder if there will be any additions this time around?
Wonder what lies in the white light so far ahead.
I'm inside the tunnel with the windows.

Thoughts on Mr. T

This kinda long email has been going around. Mr. T is a great man...

Mr. T speaks only when necessary.

His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. The result was the 80's.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion's tail hanging out of his mouth.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.

Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.

In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba.

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Mr. T was the first to kill two bird with one stone. He kept the stone, and as of now it has killed 6,048.

It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.

Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.

Remember when Mr. T wasn't so popular and awesome? Me neither.

They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don't have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.

On all 3428 instances it occured, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both 'deflower' the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman's uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks.

Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.

Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.

Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Mr. T doesn't have internal organs. He had them removed to make more room for muscle.

Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.

The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T's neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.

World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Mr. T ate Kobayashi.

The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase "We PETA the fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.

There is a 11th commandment, edited out of the Bible, that says "None of the above applies to Mr. T."

Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.

Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.

Most people believe the chemical formula for what sustains life is H2O, when in fact it is MrT + 2JPf. The ionic bond between JibbaJabba and PityingFools is so great that if one attempts to split that molecule, Chuck Norris jumps from a flaming truck and roundhouse kicks that person in the teeth.

Mr. T once had so many fools to pitty that he didn't know what to do with them all. So he created Chuck Norris, from one of his ribs and a pound of gold, to roundhouse kick the surplus of fools in the face.

Mr T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive, it's because Mr T loves you.

Mr. T was the only kid at his high school. His high school was undefeated in all sports for the one year it took him to graduate. This is not surprising considering he invented every sport.

If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode.

Mr.T actually came up with the theory of relavity, Einstein merely stole it from him. Although originaly this was called Mr.T's theory of relative pity, Einstein in fact mistranslated it into 'jibba jabba'

A random onlooker once taunted Mr. T. Mr. T responed by hitting the man so hard that both his parents died.

Mr. T once pitied a fool so hard that he burst into flames.

Mr. T's umbilical cord was actually a large gold chain... the medallion didn't grow in until he was 6 months old.

Mr. T's autobiography, "So Many Fools, Not Enough Pity," was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for its heartwarming and inspiring tales of Mr. T overcoming his fear of flying, and his battle with gold-addiction--as well the sweet tutorial on how to install machine-gun turrets on top of a GMC van using a welding torch, a 55-gallon drum, chicken wire, and skim milk.

Mr. T once roundhouse punched someone so hard that his fist broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Mr. T's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Mr. T instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Mr. T built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Mr. T met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Mr. T smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Mr. T does not sleep. He waits.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Mr. T. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Mr. T is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right fists.

If you can see Mr. T, he can see you. If you can't see Mr. T you may be only seconds away from death.

When God said, "Let there be light", Mr. T said, "say please."

When Mr. T goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Mr. T.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Mr. T could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Mr. T was born, the nurse said, "Holy ######! That's Mr. T!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

Mr. T once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Crop circles are Mr. T's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the ###### down.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Mr. T allows to live.

Mr. T is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Mr. T coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

Mr. T once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Nails" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

Mr. T has two speeds: walk and kill.

You are what you eat. That is why Mr. T's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Mr. T is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Mr. T can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Mr. T can divide by zero.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Mr. T, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Mr. T played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

Mr. T was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Mr. T punched himself in the face.

Mr. T invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Mr. T smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Mr. T can eat a VHS tape and excrete a DVD.

9 out of 10 scientists agree, the power of Mr. T's urine should be harnessed to replace fossil fuels. The tenth scientist was high-fived by Mr. T, causing fragments of his arm to accidentally press the "no" button.

Mr. T created South North Korea by drawing a line of chalk 10 miles away from the DMZ and daring anyone to step across.

Much like how the seismograph detects earthquakes, prominent scientists have tried to create a Pityograph to determine how amazing Mr. T is. Each one has broken, beause it doesn't go high enough.

Mr. T brushes his teeth with a saw.

Mr. T handed the world over to the Greek god, Atlas, and said, "Here, you take it for a while".

Mr. T can simply walk into Mordor.

Mr. T can find 1,000 words that rhyme with "orange".

Mr. T can do push ups with both arms tied behind his back.